Yeah gotta love these journals...Feeling a bit overwhelmed with school/work/life. Anxiety has been of a bitch lately - not sure why tho, it's usually not this bitchy until about Xmas holidays, (don't ask). I met this lady at group, (i go to a gay/les/bi/trans sort of youth group - anybody can join really) and she told me she does some Shaman work to help people with their problems (like anxiety for example). She doesn't have a "defined" price yet - sometimes she charges $10 and sometimes she'll accept gifts, it really depends on what she did and what you think is worth the price sort of deal. Whenever i get the money and the time i'm going to try this. I've tried everything else, why not?

Anyway - work is fine. Got sent home the other day cuz i was really sick. School is just a bitch right now. Every time i open up XSI my mind goes blank. I don't know what i want for a career, but Cuppa Coffee sounds like a good spot to start. My bud's bf is working there and i hope i could get a placement there. I'm going to ask one of my profs some after effect project ideas so i can start doing them right away and put them on my demo asap. I don't really think i want to work in England anymore - at least not right now...if my mind is this fucked up in Canada - what would it look like in England?? lol

I've been doing art work a lot recently - which is good. Hopefully i'll have some more pieces up by the end of next month (hopefully one up by tomorrow). The "special" painting for my family for xmas isn't going as planned - but then again i've never done digital painting before lol Tutorial watching and reading time XD

So Julien and I have an audition next tuesday and i'm nervous as hell...wish me luck

So yes, rawr lol. October has been busy seening as though I have a full time 3rd year course that's insane plus a part time job. Good news is, the job is awesome. Bad news is, it's challenging to balance between the two. I'm starting to get a little annoyed at the fact that every time I come into class my figurines are in a sexual position. Sure it was funny the first time, but that's it.

Anyway, I have found a guitar player (his name is Julien) that wants to perform for open mic night in November and I've decided to sing. I'll be signing up for the event tonight because the 19th is the last day to sign up. Then there will be an audition process (of course) and then the real deal. I hope I make it to the real deal but I hope I don't screw up insanely b/c I'd be so nervous.

We have to perform 4 songs and so far we've chosen:

Sweet Dreams - (lyrics eurythmics style and guitar marilyn manson version style)
On The Bright Side - (by Nevershoutnever! really good song, cartoon video on youtube)
Chasing Cars - (another good slow song really)
????? - (still deciding the 4th song, I'm thinking either Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee or Dophin's Cry by Live)

We also decided to go by a band name - hey why the hell not right? Julien thought of "The Last to Know" which I think sounds really cool so we're going with that. So technically that means I'm in a real rock band now XD lol. YAY

So it's September and 3rd year has started off to a great start I feel pumped, motivated and eager to start the year. I have an awesome idea for my independent project and I'm going to work my ass off to achieve the best that I can give. I got a part time job (it's A&W but it's better than nothing - and it's WAAAAY better than Adecco) I'm not going to procrastinate this year, I can't afford to and neither can my future if I want to get anywhere successfully. A few people don't believe me, and that's understandable because of the reputation that I've given myself, but that's all going to change this year. I'm breaking that reputation and giving myself a new and better way to live (I guess lol).

I hope to get a placement where is working. It's in downtown Toronto but I'm sure I'll live, it would be a really good placement to get Then I hope after that I could get a job at Jellyfish Pictures in Central London, England. I've always loved England ever since I was really little and I think that working there would be awesome. So there's my plan for the end of the school year and it's going to be my main motivation I'm also going to improve on my art work (and 3D work) as much as I can this year. Wish me luck.

My cousin died today in a car accident. He was 22. Why do I have to go to a fucking funeral right before school?!?! FUCK!!

I can't believe you're gone. I didn't know you very well, but we still had memories. I hope you hear us crying for you. Knowing how much we miss you already. I love you cousin I hope you have fun riding all the four wheelers and dirt bikes in heaven.

I decided to take Drawing Fundamentals during school than the other extra program because it will help me more in the long run. Plus my main goal is to improve my drawing skills so that one will be more logical for me to take.

Also, I asked some writers on dA to critique my story and they liked it (as well as critiqued it) I'm so happy

These are the people who critiqued my story;



If you love poetry - read her poetry is awesome!!!

I'm currently reading a story on dA by if you wish to read it or look at it - her fan page on dA is here;

The World Hero Race

it's a pretty good story ^^

So yeah - feeling much MUCH better now Especially to these writers worldhero21, forbiddenhero and VampireVengeance. Thanks so much